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  • Writer's pictureAC

I was Catfished by the Head Coach of the Cleveland Browns

Folks! I am back from my hiatus. Boy, have you all missed some life events. Where to start?

  • Went home for the holiday

  • Got a Delta SkyMiles Reward card (you know, for flying and stuff)

  • Saw the WorstBests crew minus Optic and Chief

  • Got my dog master Lou back (staying at my parents for a month)

  • Realized I was 225lbs (I was 210lbs in May)

  • Got on a hot streak recently (Check pikkit)

  • Had a few flights back canceled like everyone

  • Met my roommate's brother for the first time

Let me first say I know nobody cares about my fantasy team. But, the most life-altering event in the past few weeks came this past Monday. MNF to be exact. I had the honor of competing in the finals for 1/3 FFLs. For background, Team Kupp Check struck lightning in a bottle by grabbing Joe Burreaux the previous week, teaming him up with Tee Higgins for 80 points alone. To say the least, confidence was not an issue heading into the big game. We had another big league heading into MNF.


Scenario:

The good guys were up 11 pts heading into the game. The enemy had Diontae Johnson and yours truly had Nick Chubb left.


YAWN. I'll take my money now.




"NOT SO MY FAST MY FRIEND," is what my dear dear compadre Lee Corso said to me. That's right folks, I had been cat fished by the Browns. Looks can be deceiving. Remember: catfishing is real and it can happen to anyone. Look how I was tricked into losing my rent payment.





IM Exchange

Brownsluver69 (Cleveland Browns): "Hey Sweetie, we have a good looking head coach, sexy names on offense and defense (Miles Garrett, Nick Chubb, Kareem Hunt, Jadaveon Clowney, Denzel Ward, a great OL). We beat the Steelers in the playoffs last year. Our QB sucks BUT, he's a former No. 1 overall pick. So what do you think? Let's "


TerdFerg (Me): Hi Brownsluver. Based off your previous decades of disfunction, this is concerning. Buuuut, I'm gonna trust my judgment on this one. Yeahh, ya know what maybe you'll do what's right and run the ball with the best RB in the league, against the worst run defense in the league and shut down a 40-year-old man in a 60-year-old's body in Big Ben. I'll pick you up at 5:30pm PST.


Brownsluver69 (Cleveland Browns): Bring that tight ass. We're gonna rock your world.


TerdFerg (Me): Brownsluver! Stop it you're so bad!


In sum, my world was in fact, rocked.



I blew a 28-3 lead. I lost by .3 points. Let me reiterate that. .3 POINTS! That's 3 GD yards! The worst game I've ever watched start to finish. Seeing red all game. PAIN.


Here's my text exchange between my sister and brother-in-law in real time. This is where it sinks in


Whatever. New year, new me. We've all had some bad beats. Mine probably worse than yours. Let us all regroup and start the year strong. My good friend Toxic reminded me of the 24-hour rule. So let that be a lesson for you all.


More bets to come. Thanks for reading and letting me vent for the last time. And congrats on my sister Rachael for winning her FFL. She get's a trophy and everything.


Track your bets, and follow your friends on the Pikkit app. Use Code: WORSTBETS to earn between $5 and $50 when you link your Sportsbook! https://apps.apple.com/us/app/pikkit/id1586567110


-AC





PPS- F U Kevin Stefanski. You're not as good-looking without your beard. You ruined my Monday and Tuesday. I will never forgive you or the entire Browns organization. Never Again.

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